Red Poppy #2: Two Fall Leaves
“I could only give you medicine since the last therapy didn't go well,” the doctor said as he tries to look at the records, but I could see in his face that he'd already given up. Most of them had given up, they don't need to say it, I could feel it.
It's been months of nothing passing by. Countless therapies haven't helped my condition at all. They've given me a bunch of medicines to ease the pain, but as the time progresses, the pain becomes more unbearable. Even the doctors didn't know what to do with me anymore, and I have lost my faith. Every inch of my body begs me to stop. Every day is a battle, and I've already lost, and right now, I can't feel anything.
“Can I be discharged?” I said hesitantly. I have no idea what makes me utter those words, but I felt helpless. My disease has consumed my remaining hope, and I just want to spend my few remaining days, weeks, or months trying to make things right before death takes me away.
Luckily, they said yes, but they've prescribed me a bunch of medicine. Bastards take any opportunity to earn money even from a dying man.
“You left, but still my heart aches for you. One day I'll find my way back home, in your arms cause I've promised that I'm yours, forever.” I couldn't help but laugh. It feels like destiny itself finds its way to separate us, again. Who knows maybe it tells us something more that no matter how much we love each other, we'll never find happiness.
“Why are you so sad?”
Suddenly, a face appears right before me.
It was the nurse. Her face is filled with concerned and hope. She always reminds me why I'm fighting, and she has taken care of me as if I'm her own son. We've talked a lot about our lives and how we end up where we are right now. I've sympathized for her because, in a way I've seen myself in her, she thought that she's doing the right thing, but in the end, lost the person who she treasured the most.
It has been hours, and we're still talking. I've told her everything about how my condition is getting worse and the hope of me surviving is close to zero and how I just want to spend my final days is complete solitude.
She let out a big sigh while staring out the view full of buildings and skyscrapers and carefully take my hand and put an old key.
“This is the last thing I could do. There is an old wooden cabin beside a river where my husband and I always go, and we'll enjoy the beauty of nature, but when my husband died, I don't want to go back in that place since it’s full of memories of him and me.”
Tears began to fall from her eyes. My hand tries to reach out, but she immediately stops it before my hand reaches her face.
“I never got the chance to save them or even say goodbye. That house represents all of my grief and regrets, but I don't want it to go to waste and consider it as my farewell gift to you since you're going to be discharged soon.” She uttered with sadness in her face. It hurts me a lot to see her like after all the things she has done for me. I couldn't find the word to make the situation better. I just grab her and hug her tightly. It's all I could do.
The world is such a cruel place, yet somehow, we find ourselves someone who is worth living for. In the end, we might end up leaving them, but our memories still carry on in their hearts. It's painful to see them cry when you know it’s your fault why those tears fall from their faces in the first place. All I could think right now is if she's also crying because of me. Have I hurt her so much? I don't know, and I'll never know...